A to Z of Advice
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Abuse |
If your child is experiencing or has experienced abuse, or you are worried they might be experiencing abuse, remember that you are not alone. Abuse | Parents Guide to Support | YoungMinds
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Aggression |
Anger is a normal and healthy reaction when things don’t go the way we expected, life feels unfair or people upset or hurt us. It can be a helpful thing - letting us know that something is wrong or not okay with us. Anger | Parents Guide To Support | YoungMinds
My child says ‘I hate you!’ Place2Be: Parenting Smart: My child says ‘I hate you!’ My child has meltdowns Place2Be: Parenting Smart: My child has meltdowns My child and I keep getting into arguments Place2Be: Parenting Smart: My child and I keep getting into arguments |
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Anxiety |
Anxiety is a feeling of worry or fear that is experienced as a combination of physical sensations, thoughts and feelings.
All children and young people feel worried sometimes, and this is a normal part of growing up. At certain points, such as on their first day of school or before an exam, young people may become more worried, but will soon be able to calm down and feel better.
Anxiety can become a problem when a young person feels stuck in it, or when it feels like an overwhelming, distressing or unmanageable experience. If this kind of worrying goes on for a long time, it can leave a young person feeling exhausted and isolated, and limit the things they feel able to do. Supporting A Child With Anxiety | Tips & Advice | YoungMinds Anxiety UK: www.anxietyuk.org.uk My child is anxious Place2Be: Parenting Smart: My child is anxious Supporting A Child With Anxiety | Tips & Advice | YoungMinds |
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Autism and Mental Health |
Autism & Mental Health | Signs & Symptoms of Autism | YoungMinds |
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Bullying |
Bullying is any persistent behaviour that is intended to hurt someone. It can happen anywhere – including at school, at work, online or at home. Examples of bullying include name-calling, making threats, being violent or aggressive, spreading rumours and undermining, humiliating, excluding or pressuring someone.
Bullying | Parents Guide to Support | YoungMinds My child is being bullied. What can I do? Place2Be: Parenting Smart: My child is being bullied. What can I do? My child might have bullied someone Place2Be: Parenting Smart: My child might have bullied someone |
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Challenging Behaviour |
Parenting is an incredibly rewarding and challenging experience.
At times, it can feel like a real rollercoaster of emotions – particularly when your child is behaving in ways that are difficult to manage and understand.
Children’s behaviour can be challenging in different ways at different stages. Often, this behaviour is developmentally ‘normal’, which means it fits with the age they have reached. Sometimes, however, a child’s challenging behaviour becomes more frequent and difficult to manage. When this is the case, daily life can become exhausting for you as a parent.
Remember it is possible to come through this – with support, your child can find healthier ways to express and manage their feelings, and both of you can experience a more positive family life. Challenging Behaviour | Parents Guide To Support | YoungMinds My child just says no to everything Place2Be: Parenting Smart: My child just says no to everything |
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Depression |
Going through different emotions is part of life. While it can feel worrying as a parent, it is normal for young people to feel low sometimes, and this can be a natural response to what’s happening around them. Often, the passing of time and support from people they’re close to can help things feel better again.
When a young person is feeling depressed, however, sadness and low feelings become more overwhelming, persisting over a longer period of time and making day-to-day life difficult.
Depression & Low Mood | Signs, Symptoms & Treatment | YoungMinds Depression Alliance: www.depressionalliance.org/information/what-depression My child is feeling sad or low Place2Be: Parenting Smart: My child is feeling sad or low |
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Divorce and Separation |
Every child and young person’s experience with the loss of their known family unit will be unique, but it can sometimes cause intense emotional distress.
In the immediate aftermath of a break-up, children’s early responses can involve a number of defence behaviours, including: denial, disbelief, dissociation, hyperactivity, irritability and protest, alarm and panic. Over time, children may experience grief and display behaviours and emotions that indicate yearning and pining, sadness and depression, anger and hostility, anxiety, guilt, shame and despair. Even if children feel relieved at a family break-up where violence is a significant factor, most children will still feel some loss and grief.
There are things you can do to improve the way your child copes with the changes going on around them. Divorce & Young People's Mental Health | Parent Guide | YoungMinds Co-parenting after separation or divorce Place2Be: Parenting Smart: Co-Parenting after a separation or divorce Going through a breakup Place2Be: Parenting Smart: I’m going through a break up and want to support my child |
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Domestic Violence |
If your family is experiencing, or has experienced, domestic violence, or you are concerned that domestic violence is happening in another home where your child is staying, remember that you and your child are not alone. If your family is experiencing, or has experienced, domestic violence, or you are concerned that domestic violence is happening in another home where your child is staying, remember that you and your child are not alone. |
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Drugs and Alcohol |
The use of both legal and illegal drugs among teenagers and young adults is widespread. Teenagers are likely to experiment, test boundaries and take risks. Smoking, drinking and trying drugs are some of the most common ways in which many young people do this. However, substance misuse is also one of the most common risks to a young person’s health and development. All drugs have the potential to cause harm, some can be addictive, and using drugs in combination can increase the risks. Legal drugs such as alcohol and tobacco can be very addictive. Illegal drugs include cannabis, cocaine, ecstasy and heroin. There are things you can do as a parent to help your child develop a healthy and informed relationship with alcohol and drugs. But if you think your child may be using alcohol or drugs to help them cope with difficult feelings or mental health issues, speak to your GP for professional advice.
Drugs & Alcohol | Mental Health | Guide For Parents | YoungMinds |
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Eating Disorders |
Food, weight and shape may be used as a way of coping with, or communicating about, difficult thoughts, feelings and behaviours that a young person experiences day to day. Some young people develop eating disorders such as anorexia (where food intake is restricted), binge eating disorder and bulimia nervosa (a cycle of bingeing and purging). Other young people, particularly those of primary or preschool age, may develop problematic behaviours around food including refusing to eat in certain situations or with certain people. This can be a way of communicating messages the child does not have the words to convey. Eating Disorders & Problems | Guide For Parents | YoungMinds
Beat – the eating disorders charity: www.b-eat.co.uk/about-eating-disorders
Eating Difficulties in Younger Children and when to worry: www.inourhands.com/eating-difficulties-in-younger-children
Our mealtimes are turning into a battleground Place2Be: Parenting Smart: Our mealtimes are turning into a battleground
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Exam Stress |
Exams are a stressful time for any young person Mood swings and outbursts are more likely to occur during this period. Look out for other signs that your child may be struggling, including poor sleep patterns or a change in appetite or behaviour.
It’s worth preparing ways of supporting your child during exam weeks and thinking about how you will react and respond on the day if they don’t get the result that they, or you, are hoping for.
Exam Time & Exam Stress | Parents Guide To Support | YoungMinds |
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Friendship issues |
My child has friendship issues Place2Be: Parenting Smart: My child has friendship issues |
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Gender and Identity |
Questions around gender identity can emerge at any time, and there is a wide range of reported experiences. Some individuals know from childhood that they feel mis-gendered, while others might not recognise this until adulthood. Parents may be aware that their child is questioning their gender identity from an early age, or they may not. Some people may also feel that their gender identity, and the words they use to describe it, changes or develops at different times. Gender Identity & Mental Health | Guide For Parents | YoungMinds |
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Grief and Loss |
Losing someone or something we love and feel close to is extremely difficult and painful. Grief is our natural emotional response to this loss, and it is a process rather than an event.
Grief & Loss | Parents Guide To Support | YoungMinds
When someone dies Place2Be: Parenting Smart: When someone dies
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Lying |
My child is lying Place2Be: Parenting Smart: My child is lying, what does it mean, what should I do? |
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Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) |
Obsessions describe intrusive thoughts or feelings that enter our minds which are disturbing or upsetting; compulsions are the behaviours we carry out in order to manage those thoughts or feelings. For example, a young person may be constantly worried that their house will burn down if they don’t turn off all switches before leaving the house. They may respond to these thoughts by repeatedly checking switches, perhaps returning home several times to do so. Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) can take many forms – it is not just about cleaning and checking. |
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Peer pressure |
Peer pressure Place2Be: Parenting Smart: Peer pressure |
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Perfectionism |
My child thinks they need to be perfect Place2Be: Parenting Smart: My child thinks they need to be perfect |
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Positive body image |
Helping your child develop a positive body image Place2Be: Parenting Smart: Helping your child develop a positive body image Positive Body Image PDF
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Positive parenting |
My child pushes my buttons Place2Be: Parenting Smart: My child pushes my buttons Healthy habits for parenting Place2Be: Parenting Smart: Healthy habits for parenting Homework Place2Be: Parenting Smart: Homework Playing with my child Place2Be: Parenting Smart: Playing with my child |
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Race and discrimination |
Racism can happen anywhere. It can happen at school, at work or at home; it can happen online or in-person; it can even happen within families and relationships. Sometimes racist abuse is obvious – for example, verbal abuse about the way someone looks, stereotypes about how someone might behave, or physical violence and bullying. Sometimes racism is part of the structures and systems that we live in. And sometimes it is ‘subtle’ and difficult for other people to notice. Your child may also experience racism ‘indirectly’ - as the things going on around us, to people just like us, can feel like they have happened to us and make us feel personally attacked, helpless, or like our lives don’t matter.
Cultural identity – Who am I? Place2Be: Parenting Smart: Cultural identity: who am I? Racism & Mental Health | Guide For Parents | YoungMinds Talking to my child about race and discrimination Place2Be: Parenting Smart: Talking to my child about race and discrimination |
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Resilience |
Raising a resilient child Place2Be: Parenting Smart: Raising a resilient child |
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School anxiety and refusal |
School can be a source of support, belonging, learning and community for young people. It can provide roles and responsibilities that make them feel good about themselves, the opportunity to think about their own opinions, access to sport, drama, art, trips and other new things, a sense of progress and achievement, life-long friendships, and supportive relationships with teachers and other adults. However, every child and young person will worry about things that happen at school from time to time – and that's completely normal. For some young people, school can become challenging, stressful and distressing over a longer period of time. If your child is struggling at school, the important thing is to recognise there’s a problem to be solved, and to work with them and the school to find the right support as soon as you can.
School Anxiety & Refusal | Parents Guide To Support | YoungMinds |
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School Transitions |
Starting Secondary School Place2Be: Parenting Smart: Secondary school transition Starting or changing primary school Place2Be: Parenting Smart: Helping your child when they start or change primary school |
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Security Issues |
Building secure relationships Place2Be: Parenting Smart: Building secure relationships |
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Self-esteem |
Self-esteem is how a person feels about themselves. Most children will have dips in self-esteem as they go through different stages or challenges in life, and there are different pressures that may affect them - including social media, bullying, exams, family problems and abuse. Self-Esteem & Mental Health | Guide For Parents | YoungMinds Things like starting a new school, moving house or going through changes in the family can also affect a child’s confidence - but with support from parents and other adults they can usually get through this. |
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Self-Harm |
Self-harm describes any behaviour where someone causes harm to themselves, usually as a way to help cope with difficult or distressing thoughts and feelings. It most frequently takes the form of cutting, burning or non-lethal overdoses. However, it can also be any behaviour that causes injury - no matter how minor, or high-risk behaviours. SelfHarm.co.uk: www.selfharm.co.uk |
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Separation Anxiety |
Help your child manage separations and goodbyes Place2Be: Parenting Smart: Help your child manage separations and goodbyes |
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Sexual Development |
Sexual Development Place2Be: Parenting Smart: Sexual development |
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Shyness |
Understanding Shyness Place2Be: Parenting Smart: Understanding shyness |
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Sleeping |
Children and young people should sleep for 8-10 hours per night. Lack of sleep affects an individual’s overall behaviour as well as their physical health and mental well-being. It may cause problems with memory and concentration issues, stress, performance issues and reduction in reaction time. Sleep regulates hormones and allows the body to grow and repair muscles, organs and other cells. Whilst an individual sleeps special proteins are released, which support the immune system to protect an individual from illness and disease. My child has trouble going to sleep Place2Be: Parenting Smart: My child has trouble going to sleep |
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Stealing |
My child is stealing Place2Be: Parenting Smart: My child is stealing |
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Suicidal Feelings |
Lots of young people will have thoughts about suicide at some point. This doesn’t mean they are necessarily going to attempt suicide, but it does mean they need help and support. All suicidal feelings should be taken seriously – and as a parent, you are right to be concerned. Suicidal Thoughts | Suicidal Ideation Signs & Symptoms | YoungMinds Prevention of young suicide UK – PAPYRUS: www.papyrus-uk.org Suicidal Thoughts | Suicidal Ideation Signs & Symptoms | YoungMindsSuicidal Thoughts | Suicidal Ideation Signs & Symptoms | YoungMinds |
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Toileting |
My child still wets themselves Place2Be: Parenting Smart: My child still wets themself |
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Transitions and times of change |
Young people go through all kinds of changes as they grow up – including when they move into a new class, go to secondary school, move to a new house or area, or experience changes within their family. These times of transition can be exciting. However, they can also be stressful, worrying or upsetting.
Change can be difficult when a young person does not want it to happen or does not feel ready for it, feels worried about something new or unknown, needs time to let go of something that has ended or feels that what is happening to them is out of their control. A child or young person may also find change difficult if they are already struggling with other things.
Transitions, Change & Mental Health | Parents Guide | YoungMinds |
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Trauma |
Everyone experiences upsetting and difficult situations – and it is normal to feel sad or stressed sometimes. When difficult things happen, lots of young people will be able to find the support they need and feel better with time. Sometimes, however, certain events or experiences can be traumatic – and these can leave a young person struggling with their mental health over a much longer period of time.
If you’re worried that your child is struggling after a trauma, the important thing to know as their parent is that you can provide an incredibly important part of the help they need – emotional support and a loving, safe relationship. By being there for them and finding the right professional help if they need it, you can make an enormous difference. Trauma & Mental Health | Guide For Parents | YoungMinds The-Childrens-Society-Trauma-resource-leaflet-Prof-Parents-and-carers.pdf (healthyschoolscp.org.uk) |
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Unhealthy gaming/online habits |
Supporting unhealthy gaming habits Place2Be: Parenting Smart: Supporting healthy gaming habits Safe social media for primary aged children Place2Be: Parenting Smart: Safe social media for primary aged children Social Media & Mental Health | Guide For Parents | YoungMinds Gaming & Mental Health | Parents Guide To Support | YoungMinds |
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